One Partner Is More Willing to Work Than the Other – Can the Marriage Still Be Saved?

Marriage is ideally a partnership of equals, where both individuals contribute emotionally, mentally, and practically to maintain the relationship. However, in many struggling marriages, it’s often seen that one partner is more invested in saving the relationship while the other seems indifferent, withdrawn, or less committed to working things out. This situation raises a common and important question: Can a marriage still be saved when only one partner is trying?

Yes, in some cases, a marriage can be saved even if one partner is more willing to work on it than the other — but it depends on specific factors such as the nature of the issues, the degree of disconnect, and whether the less-involved partner is completely unwilling or simply emotionally distant due to current circumstances.

Let us discuss this in detail — emotionally, psychologically, practically, and legally.

Understanding the Dynamics of One-Sided Effort

It is important to first identify why one partner is less engaged:

Is it emotional burnout or apathy?
Is it depression, stress, or job pressure?
Are they avoiding conflict out of fear or hopelessness?
Have they emotionally checked out or are considering separation?

Sometimes, the less-involved spouse may not be outright refusing to work on the marriage but may be emotionally unavailable or unready due to inner turmoil, unresolved resentments, or emotional fatigue. Other times, they may have mentally given up.

This difference in willingness can create further distance unless handled carefully.

What the More Willing Partner Can Do

If you are the one trying harder to save the relationship, here are steps you can take at home:

1. Lead with Compassion, Not Pressure

Nagging, emotional blackmail, or guilt-tripping may push them further away.
Instead, express your desire to work things out with love and openness, not demands.
Allow space and time if they are feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

2. Model the Change You Wish to See

Start making changes in your own behavior — be kinder, more patient, and more positive.
Often, partners respond subconsciously to improvements in atmosphere.

A peaceful and supportive environment can invite the less-involved partner to participate gradually.

3. Improve Your Communication Style

Avoid blaming statements like “You never care about us” and replace them with: “I feel sad when I’m the only one trying. I want us to reconnect, and I’d love to know how you feel too.”

4. Focus on Emotional Safety

Sometimes, past wounds or fears stop the other partner from engaging.
Make it clear you’re creating a safe, non-judgmental space where both of you can talk, even about difficult topics.

5. Encourage, But Don’t Force Counseling

Suggest marriage counseling or couple’s activities as a way to reconnect, not as a punishment.
If they resist, consider going for individual counseling yourself — it will help you cope, get clarity, and handle the situation wisely.

When One Person Changes, the Relationship Can Change

While mutual participation is ideal, individual transformation often leads to relational improvement. If one partner changes positively — becoming more patient, emotionally available, and stable — the other may feel:

Less defensive
More emotionally safe
Curious about reconnecting
Inspired to also put effort

This is known as the “ripple effect” in relationship psychology — one person’s behavior often influences the other, consciously or unconsciously.

However, this requires time, consistency, and emotional strength.

When is It Not Enough?

Despite all efforts, a marriage may not survive on the shoulders of just one partner when:

The other person is completely detached or unwilling to engage.
There is abuse, addiction, or infidelity that continues without remorse or responsibility.
The emotionally withdrawn partner has already decided to leave and is only physically present.

In such cases, staying in the relationship may become emotionally damaging for the more willing spouse.

Legal Perspective in India: When to Seek Help

From a legal standpoint, one-sided efforts alone cannot sustain a marital relationship if the other party becomes abusive, negligent, or willfully indifferent. In India, the following legal grounds and remedies may become relevant:

1. Grounds for Divorce under Hindu Marriage Act, 1955

Cruelty: Emotional neglect, constant disregard, and mental harassment can be considered cruelty under Section 13(1)(i-a).
Desertion: If one partner has willfully abandoned the other (physically or emotionally) for over 2 years.
Adultery or mental illness may also come into play if applicable.

2. Judicial Separation

Under Section 10 of the Hindu Marriage Act, judicial separation can be filed if you need legal distance without immediate divorce. It allows time for possible reconciliation.

3. Counseling Mandated by Courts

In many family court matters (especially divorce cases), the court may refer couples to court-appointed counselors before proceeding, giving a chance to save the marriage through guided sessions.

Final Thoughts

To directly answer the question: Yes, a marriage can sometimes be saved even if only one partner is initially trying — but only if the other partner is not completely closed off and there is still space for emotional reconnection.

Marriage improvement starts with small, consistent efforts, emotional maturity, and a clear vision of what you want the relationship to look like. However, a long-term, healthy relationship ultimately requires two people willing to meet each other halfway.

If you find that your solo efforts are going unacknowledged despite time and patience, it’s essential to seek clarity — through counseling or legal advice — to decide whether to continue, separate temporarily, or pursue lawful remedies.

FAQs

Q1. How long should I wait for my partner to show interest in saving the marriage?
There’s no fixed time limit, but if months have passed with no engagement from your spouse, it may be time to involve a counselor or legal expert.

Q2. What if my partner refuses counseling?
You can begin with individual counseling, which can help you develop strategies to cope and decide the future of the relationship wisely.

Q3. Is emotional neglect a ground for divorce in India?
Yes. Emotional neglect can be construed as mental cruelty, which is a valid ground for divorce under Indian matrimonial laws.

Disclaimer: This information is intended for general guidance only and does not constitute legal advice. Please consult with a qualified lawyer for personalized advice specific to your situation.

Advocate J.S. Rohilla (Civil & Criminal Lawyer in Indore)

Contact: 88271 22304